Fantastic Sauces. Do Not Put In Eye.

Having spent the weekend in the bucolic upper Hudson Valley, I arrived home around 10:30pm on Sunday. Starving after the long drive, I grabbed a bag of pretzels and some hummus. As a Hot Sauce of the Month Club subscriber, I have a wide array of spicy options to add to the hummus. I chose Thor's Hammer, which is a borderline painful sauce, but quite delicious. I headed into the bedroom to unpack my bag, enjoy my snack, and watch Black Widow.
This was unfortunately one too many tasks for me.
I swiped my pretzel through the dip while keeping my eyes on the screen. I felt the hummus container slip out of my hands, and with my cat-like reflexes leaned down to try and catch it before it hit the floor. This did not happen - but it did put my face directly over the hummus-hot sauce mushroom cloud that was about to erupt from my bedroom floor.
As you may have guessed at the point, a substantial glob of scalding hot sauce was shot directly into the center of my right eye - causing me to start screaming. The pain was...something. Naturally, the only saline solution in the house was packed in the bottom of my duffel bag. As a temporarily blind person, weeping like a small child, the saline was difficult to find. Once I found it, I doused my eye, and the pain started to subside after 10 minutes or so. Today I'm left with a mildly bloodshot eye...

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